Perausentok: June 2008

Countdown Complete

Where did June go? Did I fall into a coma half way through and not realise??

I can't believe another month has flashed by. This is getting seriously scary!! Just as scary is the fact I didn't quite manage to complete my 50ks in 30 Days. At the half way point I'd reached just over the 25k mark, so I was on track. But the final week conspired against me (and here I'm going to rack my brains to think of every excuse possible. Ha!) Okay I won't use excuses. I didn't cross the finish line but having said that, I'm very happy with what I achieved last month.

Not only did I crack the dead body story (maybe I should retitle that one The Dead Body That Never Was), I also wrote a second erotic romance (thank you Meat Loaf), and last week dived back into my paranormal. Not only that, but for a couple of nights during the final week I was writing my para during the day and my contemp at night - a first for me but I'm trying to make some good habits!

So a big Thank You to the lovely ladies who organised the challenge, and kept the blog and loop hopping. I wrote a lot more this month than I have for ages - 43,397 words.

I also want to send out a huge *~*~CONGRATULATIONS~*~* to all the girls who reached their own personal goals for the month of June, and those who hit the 50k. There were also several who wrote waaaay more than 50k and I have to give a special mention to RC who managed to hit 100k with about half an hour to go!

Thank You For Flying With Us

Those of you that have been lurking here for a while know that I recently started riding the bus. This morning the bus was running late so Dave (he’s our regular driver) allowed me and fellow bus stop loiterer Betty to hop on the bus and ride for free. But, because he was running late, Dave didn’t give Betty and I much time to grab a seat and make ourselves comfortable for the twenty minute ride before he took off like Tony Stewart at the Daytona 500 toward the next stop just two blocks down the street. My computer bag went rolling down the isle and I had to grab one of the poles to keep from following in its wake. I sat down in the last seat available which just happened to be across from the driver. I had a full view of the road ahead. This would NOT have been my choice of seats had I know the way Dave drove when the bus was four minutes behind schedule. I said good morning to the regulars, asked after their weekends, and Dave turned….he TURNED to ask how my weekend was. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, did he not see that Beemer he just about tagged when he hooked a right onto one of our famous one-way streets?!?! Two older, fluffy ladies across the isle from me actually screamed as the turn was made for fear of falling out of their seats. They yelled at Dave to take the turns a bit slower as the bus was already leaning and all of the fat people were on the leaning side. They were afraid the bus was going to tip over at the speeds he was taking the turns and had already berated him for taking the corners on two wheels. I glanced to make sure it wasn’t Sandra Bullock driving the bus with the need to maintain the mph above 50 to keep the bus from exploding. I glanced again just to make sure. Damn, it wasn’t her; I was hoping Keanu would land in my lap.

The next turn Dave made was even better, he didn’t slow down and when the driver of that little gold Honda Accord caught a glimpse of the bus heading straight for the front of his car he threw the car into reverse and squealed out of Dave’s way. The bus came to a screeching halt at a light and I took a moment to thank myself for bringing my umbrella with me as I used it to support myself and keep from tumbling forward and right out the front window of the bus. Only two more turns and we would be downtown at the terminal. I don’t have to switch buses but we sit and take new passengers on that have transferred from other routes. I was pretty sure we would make it there without incident. One more light….and then I saw him. A transient in front of the Greyhound Bus station. At the light. WAITING TO CROSS THE ROAD. He saw us barreling toward him but thought nothing of it as pedestrians have the right of way. Well not in THIS town Mister! Thank goodness he glanced up again and realized the light had turned green and Dave wasn’t slowing down. This gave Mr. Homeless man time to Scooby-Doo it back to the curb just a hairbreadth away from certain death.

Another screeching halt brought us to the downtown terminal with about thirty seconds to spare. We’d made it alive with not one injury amongst us. Transfers got off and on and before long we were back on the road for the second half of the trip. This half was uneventful as Dave had made up for the lost time on the first half of the run. A few of us were discussing fun things we had done this weekend, books we were reading, how much rain fell, the usual. (It’s a very chatty group we have on the first bus of the day.) After ten more minutes of recuperating from the hair-raising first half of the ride, my final destination was reached and I was ready to disembark. A fellow rider thanked Dave for the exciting ride, I stated it was the most excitement I’d had all year and Dave swiveled in his seat, turned to me and said “You need excitement? I’ll take you out to dinner.” Yup, this morning, before I had my daily allowance of coffee, I was propositioned by the bus driver.

So how was YOUR morning?

Don't Worry, I Won't Tag You

Through my perusing of the blogisphere, I ran across a meme that’s making the rounds. I first had to figure out what the hell a meme was. I’d been meme’d not too long ago and consider myself a well read person but I had no idea whatsoever what the frick ‘n frack a damn meme was. Thanks to Wikipedia I am now an informed individual.

This is a book meme I’m sure each and every one of you has already run scared from. Don’t worry, I’m not tagging anyone. Anywho, as I am an avid reader and read each and every day (except for those rare occasions I’m too sloshed to hold a book in my hand, let alone read) this one struck my fancy. The rules are simple:

Rules:

Pick up the nearest book.
Turn to page 123.
Find the 5th sentence.
Copy down the next three sentences..

I am currently reading three books so this will give you a little bit of everything:

Necroscope by Brian Lumley. (I was visiting Book-A-Million this past weekend to pick up a few reads to wile away the evenings while the spawn are out of town. Having recently been dumped by my man, I informed the young gentleman at the information desk I was in the mood for a read with a little “bloodfest” maybe “a slaughter or two”. He recommended this series of books of which I purchased the first three of fourteen.)
At the top he paused to draw breath, sat down for a moment swatting at midges in the pale beams of sunlight lancing down through tall, dark pines, then dragged the box along the crest of the ridge to a place where he could see a track running clear to the bottom. In some forgotten yesteryear, a fire-break had been cut here before the lumbermen had remembered or been told about the nature of the place; since then saplings had sprung up once more to almost but not quite obscure the scar. Now that scar was to become the track of Boris’s daredevil ride.
Heaven, Texas by Susan Elizabeth Phillips (Come on guys, be nice, I’m in need of a little romance in my life!)
One of the makeup artists approached him and began to spray his chest from a plastic bottle so that his muscles glistened with oil. He glanced down at himself. Even from a distance, she could see that he looked befuddled, and she couldn’t help smiling as she observed his reaction to what he certainly saw as unnecessary adornment.
And Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (Hey, I’m reading it to make sure it’s appropriate for my teenaged daughter! FINE! I’m just reading it for the fun of it.)
...after I get my license," he amended."Who was that other boy Lauren was talking to? He seemed a little old to be hanging out with us." I purposefully lumped myself in with the youngsters, trying to make it clear that I preferred Jacob."That's Sam - he's nineteen," he informed me.
And there you have it, my first official meme where I actually know what the hell a meme is.

Turf Wars

I was crusin’ da hood wif my joe wenz I hit a deuce o’hard gink. (I was perusing the blogosphere whilst I enjoyed a cup of coffee when I suddenly happened across some very tough hombres.) Wise head, I’z said upside myself, dis is yank! (I though to myself that this just may become a difficult situation.) They be trippin’ ifs they hang a vag he'a! ( It may not be a good idea for these gentlemen to continue occupying space in this general vicinity.) I’z gonna throw lead ‘n pop dem rube. (Should they continue at this locale, I will be forced to draw my firearm and eradicate these vermin.) Take a bounce, true, you ain’t my plugs. (Gentlemen, you may want to consider vacating the vicinity and returning from whence you came.) You’s a daisy an’ hims a nance, hop in dat flivver an' scram out! (Neither of you gentlemen look robust enough to handle this situation; you may want to consider getting into that Ford Explorer behind you, which I believe is yours, and return to your homes.) Ringers! (You two seem to be under the impression you’re a tad more dangerous than myself…..I beg to differ.) Me? I’z da butter n’ egg man, you's not gonna dangle? Fine, pack your colors an' dance! (Me? Why I myself am quite the man about town and have a number of reservation in sharing my good fortune. If you truly feel you must stay to sample the areas goods, I must call you out and challenge your intentions.)

That was pretty much the conversation that went on in my head when I first ran across Ice who then introduced me to BG (There are a number of BG postings, look for them all!) These ladies are some funny girls! And then…..an inspiration! (Okay, it was a suggestion) TURF WARS. The north verses the south. I am so there! These guys are Yankees for cryin’ out loud. Okay, okay so I was born and raised in Pennsylvania but I grew up in South Florida. I understand protecting ones turf. I am older, stronger, wiser and am prepared to wreak havoc amongst this younger crowd.

Ladies? Is there anyone else out there ready to protect their turf? I think we could take these young whipper-snappers on and show them who’s boss. Dibs on who wants to help me take ‘em out? Look for me to show them who’s coming out on top because when it comes to turf…..THIS – IS – WAR!

Thank you both to V. Ice and BG - you guys are awesome!

Still giving away FREE blog designs!

Wow! Thank you to all of you who have visited and left me comments on my new site. I have a long list of FREE blog makeovers to get going on!! Those of you who I have contacted about them I will get started on them now! Thank you also for putting either my Aqua Poppy Designs button or my link on your blog.

I still want to keep the FREE giveaways coming! I'll make this easy for you... If you would like a FREE custom blog design makeover just simply leave a comment (include your email for me to contact you)!! I'm going to pick five winners (at random) at the end of the giveaway for a FREE custom blog design! So tell all your friends and family to come leave a comment for a FREE custom blog design!

For all those that leave a comment and don't win a FREE custom blog design, I'm going to take off $10 from my design packages! Which means a "Super Poppy" custom design (entire custom blog design) will only be $15. I'm also going to discount my "Lil' Poppy" custom design (a super cute header to match any of my FREE backgrounds), it will only be $8! You can't beat that!

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What A Drag

No, Spawn has not taken to purchasing sequined gowns, stilettos, and really big wigs. In fact Spawn hasn’t been home in almost a month. Spawnette has been gone this week as well and to top it off, my mom left for ten days and my longtime boyfriend decided he could no longer do the long distance relationship thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed the slovenly lifestyle I’ve been living this week. I come home from work, throw on shorts and a T-shirt, and have Cap’n Crunch for dinner if I want to. The TV stays off and there is always a book or twenty-seven to keep me occupied for the quiet evenings at home. Coop is with me…..wherever I go…..following, following, always there…..and he’s great company. Never demanding (unless his food bowl is empty); always with a kiss on the end of his tongue. But I must say that without my mother, the spawn, and the Man around providing me with inspiration and awkward situations to write about I’ve come to the realization what a big bore I am.

I. Am. Boring.

I have yet to do something to make myself giggle. I don’t roll my eyes at myself. I don’t tell myself I’m gonna take my phone away if I don’t start talking to me in a better tone of voice. I don’t complain about what’s for dinner and stomp my foot in a fit of anger because something on the plate is green. I don’t make excuses to avoid doing the dishes and I actually brush my teeth and go to bed when I’m supposed to without being told fourteen times that it’s way past my bedtime.

I. Am. Boring.

I need a hobby. A hobby that takes me out of the house. Out of the house in something other than cargo shorts, Vans, and a T-shirt advertising Guinness. Something that does not take place at the retirement center six blocks from the house. (Although those velvet paint-by-number classes look fun; everyone needs a velvet Elvis!) I enjoy photography but haven’t had the opportunity to hone my skills lately. SHIT…that huge glob of mendacity just disgorged itself from my lips, didn’t it? That is what my father, in his all-encompassing wisdom would have called “an excuse”.

G-R-E-AAAAAA-T. I hate it when I’m right. I hate it when those light bulb moments take place illuminating my self-deception.

I. Am. Not. Boring.

I. Am. Lazy.

I Got Tagged

Random Chick tagged me with my very first meme; I am to write my memoir in six words. Not as easy a task as I first thought because there are so many descriptive six-word phrases I could put out there to describe myself:

Her sarcasm far exceeds her patience.
I have no patience for this.
Her mating with Satan produced offspring.
There ain’t no cure fer stupid.
When life serves lemons, make lemonade.
Nothing cures heartache more than laughter.
What idiot suggested I do this?
Was I the schmuck that agreed?
This’s bad for people with ADD!
OH NO…here we go again!
Don’t tell anyone I’m a sap.
I played hockey for Christ’s sake!
I am NOT a big wimp!
This is harder than you think!
OH LOOK…..is that a chicken?

But after much consideration, I settled upon the one I think describes me best:

Laugh at life; it’s all funny.

Am I supposed to tag someone? RC did so maybe I should as well. I’m going with these fabulous bloggers; I figure quality vs. quantity so I’ve kept my list short:

Mrs. R

Bonnie

Magpie

Attila

but don't feel obligated.....cause I love ya, man.

The Wild Rose Press SONY eReader

I've not come to a standstill on my writing, but it's slowed down quite a bit this last week. It would be nice to say it's because I'm doing revisions but that would be a Big Fat Lie and very wrong of me. It's going to be tight to reach the 50k goal by 30th June but I haven't given up the race yet!!

I received the score sheets for the MTE contest and the encouraging comments from the judges were just amazing. It gave me added enthusiasm to dive back into the story and it's great to know complete strangers actually enjoyed my writing and wanted to read more!!

In other news, The Wild Rose Press are holding a drawing to win a SONY eReader, which looks rather fabulous. Full details are here.

All In The Family…..Again

If you’ve been here a while, you’ll remember my story of the family birthday celebration for Spawn and Spawnette in which members of the group thought nothing of bringing with them to the party various types of livestock. This story is even funnier.

Saturday afternoon the EX, our spawn, and most of his family gathered at the home of his parents for an informal get-together/cookout. As we sat around sharing fun stories of our summer escapades so far, I found myself leaning in to hear a particularly funny story being told by the youngest cousin of the group. I’ll do my best to relay that story in all of its splendor and glory.

She began:

“So Husband and I had packed up the boys and headed out to Port St. Joe for Memorial Day weekend. We had to find a place that took not only deviant children but dogs as well cuz we wanted to take them to the beach with us. We found a real nice place that the boys and I enjoyed where fishin’ and the beach were right handy. I thought it was great but Husband said there were too many rednecks around us apparent from their wife-beaters, cans of beer, and fat tattooed women in bikinis.

“After a relaxing weekend we arrived home Sunday afternoon with plenty of daylight for me to go take care of the horses. I headed straight for the barn as Husband and the boys unpacked the car. Small deviant went into the house and came running back yelling to his dad at the top of his lungs”,

“Dad, the dogs pooped in the house while we was gone!”

“Son,” he replied “we had the dogs with us so they couldn’t have pooped in the house.”

“They must have just done’d it cause there’s poop in the house, dad.”

As husband walked into the house he was slammed with the over powering stench of animal waste. “What the……” he yelled as he glanced toward the back of the house and noticed the back door was wide open. Walking further in he sees hoof prints of horse shit that have been tracked throughout the entire house. Apparently, their miniature horse spent the weekend hanging out in the house while the family was out of town. He was a big fan of the living room and spent most of his time there but did take a moment here and there to explore the rest of the house……every single room of the rest of the house…..the house that is currently on the market…….and is open to be shown at any given time. Yup, the horse had a great time and being the kind and courteous little guy that his is, even stayed off the couch because he knows he’s not allowed on the furniture.

And don’t forget, what is the first thing that horse manure attracts? Yup, on top of a house full of horse poop, they had an invasion of flies similar to the African locust swarm of 1986. What a fabulous way to spend the evening of your first day back from a weekend at the beach.

Gosh, and I thought I had it bad spending a weekend trying to keep my dog from peeing in the herb garden I just planted.

OMG Perfect Timing!

Hey everybody! Grab a six pack of Bud Lite, a glass of sweet tea, or a bottle of whine....just pick your poison, kick back, and meet me at Random Chicks' place for a fun-filled afternoon of (drum roll please)

Hurry up, I'm already there!!!!!

Contests & Challenges

My little piece of good writing news from 18th June is that I'm one of the finalists in the Romance Writers of New Zealand's Meet the Editor contest. This is the contest I had such fun with a few weeks ago trying to figure out the formatting! I'm pretty excited by finalling as it means my pages are winging their way to Cindy Hwang, executive editor at Berkley Publishing, for her comments. The finalists also get the chance to chat to Cindy at the NZ conference about their pages. Doubly exciting!!

This means that I've gone back to that story, which I left at the end of May a quarter written. I did originally mean to tackle it for my June Challenge, but became sidetracked with a contemp romance (and I'm not complaining because that dead body had been haunting me since last October. Am very glad to have sorted that problem out!!)

So adding together the words I managed on the contemp romance, the second short erotic paranormal I wrote last week and the new chapter I've written on the paranormal I entered into the contest, I'm just about still on track to get my 50k in 30 days. If I manage that, it will be the most I've written in one month for ages. Hooray!

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Banner, Background and Signature

{graphic credits: designs by krista~daisy}

Custom designs:

Menu bar w/ drop downs, Banner...

custom side bar, post dividers and signature....

and Etsy banner

Link button & Grab box

{funky fabrix already had a logo but needed it made into a link button w/ grab box!}

Lil' Poppy package:

Banner matching one of my free backgrounds & signature

Custom design:

Menu bar w/ drop downs & SEARCH box (very cool new feature!!), Banner & Background

Custom design (added custom side bar buttons)

Custom design:

Menu bar w/ drop downs, Banner, Background, Signature & Link button

Custom Background

Simple Poppy package design

{graphic credits: designs by krista~tula}

Custom designs:

Background, Banner & Side bar titles

{ graphic credits: designs by krista~sunshine}

Dazzle Decor blog designs

Custom side bar titles and clickable side bar Menu buttons!

Posh Petals blog designs

with Menu bar below banner

(not quite finished with it yet!)

Link button with grab box

I made Laurie a background for her using her own paper...

Laurie already had this adorable button made,

so I just helped her finish it up with a grab box.

There's Beauty Everywhere blog designs

Signature

As you wish... blog designs

with Menu bar below banner

Clickable link button for As you wish... on facebook

Quilt at Home blog designs

Link button with grab box

Painting on Silk blog designs

with custom side bar titles

Painting on Silk Etsy banner

Seen From the Heart blog designs

Custom side bar titles, signature and link button with grab box...

Favicon

Custom Concepts Photography blog designs

with Menu bar below banner.

Business Card that matches the blog designs

918 Coupon Queen blog designs

(She already has her logo made,

so I designed her banner and background to match)

3 column layout

Link button with grab box

J Studio blog designs

(She wanted a 'jean' texture to her background...I think it turned out so awesome!)

I designed Meegan's background months ago

and was glad when she came back to add a Menu bar below her banner!

Ryan and Tasha's Wedding blog designs

with clickable Menu buttons below banner

Jessica Adams blog designs

Karen Wynder's etsy shop banner: karina, ink.

The Wildflower blog designs

Wynder Woman blog design

Banner

Rebecca Valentine Floral Design

w/ Custom menu bar below banner

Custom side bar titles

Business card

Custom post divider

Katy wanted a button made in honor of Tuesday and Cora.

Two beautiful children who have left this earth too soon.

Cross My Heart Creations blog design

Tattered Threads and Willing Hands blog design

Bellycast blog design

Krissy Alexander Photography blog design

w/ Custom menu bar below banner

Custom link button

The Heugly Family blog design

A Butter World blog design

Pomianowski Pandemania blog design

Fruitful Thoughts blog design

Custom link button

Chelsea Elizabeth Photography...

Custom designed background, banner, New Menu buttons...

Link button...

Post divider...

Tammy's Place New blog banner....

Side bar titles...

the whole 'scrapbook' look....

{Credits: Sherri Tierney~Yum Yum Bubble Gum kit}

Mom to the Third Power banner...

Side bar titles...

the whole look...

Romney family banner...

The Adventures of Supermom banner...

Menu buttons below her banner!

{image from istockphoto!}

Joyfull Living new look...

{Credits: Summertime designs background paper}

Come Walk with Me banner...

New menu buttons below banner!

Side bar dividers and titles...

the whole 'clean and simple' look....

I opened a new shop! This shop's design features a new list of categories right below your banner, so it's right at the finger tips of your viewers. New Post dividers and a footer message too. I love the new look, and you can find prices in my pricing section if you'd like a look like this....

click on image to go see the designs of my new shop!

Custom banner....

Custom Link button...

Custom banner with free background...

Simple Poppy Design blog...

Etsy Shop banner...

Super Poppy Design blog...

Favicon...

Custom sidebar titles...

Custom banner and sidebar titles free background...

Custom link button for

Pristine Wife...

Simple Poppy design with a custom link button

for the Apple of My Eye...

Simple Poppy design for Princesca Guatemaleca Abby...

Custom background for Humble Beads....

Custom banner for Putting God First Place...

i gave my mom's blog a new look today! i mentioned to her that I wanted to make her a blog with Mary Engelbreit designs a few days ago, and i just couldn't let these cute designs just stay sitting on my desktop another day! they're too cute! i don't think she'll mind, do you?!

{click image!}

Meegan wanted a Custom template made for her Photography blog. The colors and design are a reflection of her Photography website. Take a look, she does beautiful work.

{click on blog screenshots below}

Signature {as it appears on her blog}

This is such a "Joyfull" blog! I loved working with Joy. She wanted a Custom banner, sidebar titles and favicon to match my free background "Fall".

Custom sidebar titles

Signature {as it appears on her blog}

Favicon

Brenda already had this awesome picture of this bee in her garden.

I just added a "pop" to it and more color!

Read her blog...that's a lot of work dealing with those bees!

Signature

Tammy's blog is very inspirational!

She creates beautiful things. Eye candy for me!

Signature

The Anderson Clan

{click on blog screenshot to go to their blog}

Banner

Signature

Sidebar titles

Favicon!

Page design elements Credits to designs by krista

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Handmade Showcase banner

Bath, Body, Candle banner

Lynde has these two amazing blogs! All about giveaways...you have to go check them out!

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Big Shots Photography

I custom made her background to match the colors in her logo!

Banner

Custom Link button

Favicon!

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Life with Lisa Ann

Three-column blog!

Banner

Signature

Page design elements credits to designs by krista

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Micek Moments

Banner

I made this banner for Heidi so that it would go with whatever background she chose! She likes switching her background a lot and this banner will match whatever!

Fated Follies