WARNING: This post contains graphic language; parental discretion is advised.
This morning I awakened earlier than usual. I shat, showered, and shaved, got ready for work, and left the house by 6:30. Coffee in hand and my “everything fits in this bag because it’s really, really big” orange leather tote tossed over my shoulder, I headed out for a block and a half walk to the 80X express bus stop.
I drive an SUV that gets fourteen to sixteen miles to the gallon in town. There is a bus stop right around the corner from my house that goes directly to my work. I only live about seven miles from work as the crow flies but it’s a good thirty minute drive to get there each morning. The bus schedule indicates that from “my” bus stop to work it is a forty minute ride from start to finish. This is cool and I would still get to the office by 7:30 and not have to stay any later than usual.
So there I stood….on a busy six-lane road….in a bright red Hawaiian shirt so the bus driver wouldn’t miss me….and that MOTHER FUCKER DROVE RIGHT BY MY ASS! The mother fucker I KNOW saw me standing on Thomasville Road between the ABC Liquor store and the traffic court building. What the FUCK did he think???? That I was a piece of shit drunk waiting for the fuckin’ traffic court building to open so that I wouldn’t miss my hearing???? I – WAS – WEARING – THIS! AND…..the asshole WAS LATE! I got there early, stood on the street like a discount prostitute just tryin’ to score one more john so my pimp, Daddy MacTastic Dazzle wouldn't beat my ass to a bloody pulp. I’ve never ridden public transportation in this town before and the MOTHER FUCKER DROVE RIGHT BY MY ASS!
So I walked back to the house, grab the keys out of my “everything fits in this bag because it’s really, really big” orange leather tote, hopped into my own personal mini-public transportation microbus, pull out of the driveway, and headed to work.
At least I got to pop back into the house and get a coffee refill.
This morning I awakened earlier than usual. I shat, showered, and shaved, got ready for work, and left the house by 6:30. Coffee in hand and my “everything fits in this bag because it’s really, really big” orange leather tote tossed over my shoulder, I headed out for a block and a half walk to the 80X express bus stop.
I drive an SUV that gets fourteen to sixteen miles to the gallon in town. There is a bus stop right around the corner from my house that goes directly to my work. I only live about seven miles from work as the crow flies but it’s a good thirty minute drive to get there each morning. The bus schedule indicates that from “my” bus stop to work it is a forty minute ride from start to finish. This is cool and I would still get to the office by 7:30 and not have to stay any later than usual.
So there I stood….on a busy six-lane road….in a bright red Hawaiian shirt so the bus driver wouldn’t miss me….and that MOTHER FUCKER DROVE RIGHT BY MY ASS! The mother fucker I KNOW saw me standing on Thomasville Road between the ABC Liquor store and the traffic court building. What the FUCK did he think???? That I was a piece of shit drunk waiting for the fuckin’ traffic court building to open so that I wouldn’t miss my hearing???? I – WAS – WEARING – THIS! AND…..the asshole WAS LATE! I got there early, stood on the street like a discount prostitute just tryin’ to score one more john so my pimp, Daddy MacTastic Dazzle wouldn't beat my ass to a bloody pulp. I’ve never ridden public transportation in this town before and the MOTHER FUCKER DROVE RIGHT BY MY ASS!
So I walked back to the house, grab the keys out of my “everything fits in this bag because it’s really, really big” orange leather tote, hopped into my own personal mini-public transportation microbus, pull out of the driveway, and headed to work.
At least I got to pop back into the house and get a coffee refill.
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