reader "ross" inquired of us the following inquiries:
thxs u for your faith in my recommendations, and also thxs u for readershiop! i would recommend this team:
the problem is, this is not actually a real team. since you are in ny, the easiest bet for you is to root for either the giants or the jets. the jets are a bunch of fairies who haven't been worth even spitting on since the day namath retired, so that leaves you with the giants. being a giants fan will be fulfilling in the way mentioned: the season will be promising, but ultimately you will go home bewildered and upset by how much this team obviously hates you and all of the other fans, and is just trying to spite you. eli's receivers have apparently stopped being little girl bitches who'd rather play with their my little ponies than play football this year, which of course means that the defense will piss themselves in fear when confronted with tony romo.
(fyi tony "badass awesome terrifying voltron of quarterbacking" romo:
)
in terms of bars, most of them are terrible. if the closest one to your house has a couple of tvs, i'd just recommend that one. my last apartments in nyc were up on the upper west side and all the way up by columbia--so, i just went to whatever was nearest to me up there, if i was in town that weekend. any place that is a shitty hole-in-the-wall but has a chalkboard outside saying something like "NFL TICKET! 25c WINGS!" is going to be a good choice, also. you probably want to actually avoid bars that are specifically sports bars (ie most "irish" "pubs"), at least in nyc, unless you like being around mouth-breathing jets fans for hours.
sincerely,
the schef
you seem like the man who would know: I have tried to care about the Vikings for years but ever since Chris Carterleft it just seems pointless. And I don't live there anymore. Which team should I now love and where in NY can I go to drink and watch them lose? Oh I should say that as a Minnesotan I expect whatever team I support to be promising but ultimately fail horribly.
thxs u for your faith in my recommendations, and also thxs u for readershiop! i would recommend this team:
the problem is, this is not actually a real team. since you are in ny, the easiest bet for you is to root for either the giants or the jets. the jets are a bunch of fairies who haven't been worth even spitting on since the day namath retired, so that leaves you with the giants. being a giants fan will be fulfilling in the way mentioned: the season will be promising, but ultimately you will go home bewildered and upset by how much this team obviously hates you and all of the other fans, and is just trying to spite you. eli's receivers have apparently stopped being little girl bitches who'd rather play with their my little ponies than play football this year, which of course means that the defense will piss themselves in fear when confronted with tony romo.
(fyi tony "badass awesome terrifying voltron of quarterbacking" romo:
)in terms of bars, most of them are terrible. if the closest one to your house has a couple of tvs, i'd just recommend that one. my last apartments in nyc were up on the upper west side and all the way up by columbia--so, i just went to whatever was nearest to me up there, if i was in town that weekend. any place that is a shitty hole-in-the-wall but has a chalkboard outside saying something like "NFL TICKET! 25c WINGS!" is going to be a good choice, also. you probably want to actually avoid bars that are specifically sports bars (ie most "irish" "pubs"), at least in nyc, unless you like being around mouth-breathing jets fans for hours.
sincerely,
the schef
