advice needed ie i hate him pt 2

My roommate and I went out pretty hard last night. We both had awful days at work, got toasted at our softball game… it was time to tie one on.

We got back to our place, met up with some friends, got several cases of beer, and started pounding.

After we were about 8 deep we decided to go out. We hopped in a cab and for some unbeknown reason went to Nanny O’briens — i hate that place and smelled extra bad last night. So we get in there and immediately hit the bar. We were shooting whiskey, throwing darts, guzzling beers and cat calling every girl in the bar. It was altogether turning out to be a great night.

so after browning out for about 2 hours we left…. hopped in a cab and went home. At about 4:30 AM I hear this groaning inside my bedroom. All the lights were off and it was pitch black — I couldn’t see anything. I was totally scared shitless until I turned on the light. There he was, my roommate, standing in front of my dresser, butt naked peeing all over everything - my clothes, a pair of shoes, and my wallet which I’d tossed on the ground when I got back. I got out of bed and started yelling at him but he was a total zombie. He was totally done. I went closer to him and I smelled something terrible, far worse than just his piss. It smelled like rotten eggs and puke. I looked down and saw a stream of brown going down his leg. At the bottom of his feet was a swirled up pile of crap.

I was totally shocked. I grabbed him and turned him around — he’d stopped peeing and was just standing there idle at this point. When he faced me I noticed that he had puked on himself, probably before he sketch-pissed in my room.

I’m still in total shock and I don’t want to go home. Is this reasonable grounds to leave a roommate even though he’s a pretty good friend? does he need help, like an intervention?

advice needed ie i hate him pt 2

i am so fucking sick of eisen

It's mind boggling how fast Rich can destroy a professionally cleaned house. I'm never going to forget this dude.



It's like $70 but I only do it the day Rich leaves for business trips to Mass. Otherwise it's not worth a penny. In the 1 1/2 days since he has been back there are about 20 empty beer bottles. 2 wine empties. Seriously our recycling box is hilarious. They come on Tuesday and it's filled to the top on Tuesday night due to a backlog of empties. They would literally have to come every other day. About 100 cigg butts. Luggage emptied and thrown all over the place. 4 Amazon boxes that were waiting for him when he got back opened and tossed around including Styrofoam shit. DVD's all over the floor. 3-4 dirty plates laying around with rotting food. 3-4 large dirty pots and pans in the sink. Dirty cups everywhere. A knocked over broken seasoning bottle dumped all over the kitchen floor. Dumped over coffee grinds. Coffee beans dumped everywhere Granted the cat (his cat not mine which is well behaved) does all the knocking over and breaking of shit in the kitchen but he leaves things on the counter day after day and never learns from it. Coffee spills and rings everywhere. Melted ice cream left out on counter over night He does this with the milk all the time too because he sprints to the fridge and back due to WoW. The great part is he doesn't eat ice cream or drink milk he is just moving my shit out of the way to get to his sauce and forgets to put it back. Stove topped fucked from mac and cheese making again due to WoW he forgets he is cooking and it overflows everywhere. This along with the destroyed pots and pans happens a couple times a week now. Sadly he doesn't order pizza anymore.

I've never seen him eat a fruit or a vegetable.


(This is the cat)

i am so fucking sick of eisen