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Showing posts with label sassiest boy in america. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sassiest boy in america. Show all posts
I logged in this morninga fter a long disclourse from the internet - I have been so busy being the most improtant man on ESPN and on Twitter. You can follow men here: @adamschefter. That is where I put my Brett Favre alerts!

Anyway I acthually logged in because I thought it would be importyant to update everyone on some very important news, more important than me being on ESPN (because it is terrible, do you know how much of a fancy boy LeBron is? Ugh. And they don't even have free donuts, and sometimes expect me to go to CONNECTICUT which is just shit, to be totally fair). Do you remember our SASSIES BOY IN AMERICA contest? We might hold another one because it gets you places: our winner, Max, is now a prominent intellectual on the internet! Please read his work about devils in our society here: http://gawker.com/5587507/horned-man-attempts-to-murder-landlord-with-minivan. And comment on it to make him prouder and more confiendet!

Anywahy that is it, I hope you are all doing well and watching ESPN to see me! Except don't turn it on whn Around the Horn is on - that is the worst thing I've ever seen at all, it is even stupiderr if you witness them doing it in person.

Do u remember the time (when we fell in love!)





CONGRATS, GUYS!

see u at the super bowl!!!

THIS JUST IN: MAX AND GRADY WIN THE SASSY POLL


HE WHO TASTES ONE KNOWS WHAT IS A REAL SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!!!1


Tuomas Lauri Johannes Holopainen (born December 25, 1976, in Kitee, Finland is the keyboardist and main songwriter in the Finnish symphonic metal band Nightwish. He has also played in the bands Nattvindens Gråt and Darkwoods My Betrothed. His current side project is the gothic-doom metal band For My Pain.... He currently plays in the band of Timo Rautiainen.

Holopainen started studying in a music college majoring in clarinet and minoring in piano. He has played various kinds of music, including classical, jazz and metal. He played in several bands, including recording keyboards for three albums with the black metal band Darkwoods My Betrothed, before coming up with the idea for a band of his own, where he would write all the music. That was the birth of Nightwish in July of 1996, around a camp fire. He then asked Emppu Vuorinen and Tarja Turunen to join what then was but an acoustic project. After hearing Turunen's strong voice, Tuomas decided to turn Nightwish into a metal act.

Nightwish's first release, Angels Fall First, came in 1997, but it was in 1998, after the release of Oceanborn, that Holopainen's compositional skills reached full acclaim worldwide. In Century Child, Once and the upcoming album Holopainen began collaborating with symphonic orchestras from Finland and the United Kingdom.

Nightwish released the DVD End of an Era, cointaining their last concert with Tarja Turunen, in Hartwall arena, Helsinki 2005.

The next Nightwish release Dark Passion Play is set for September 2007 with a lead-in single, Eva, released on May 25, 2007, an internet and radio release.

Holopainen is a Disney, J. R. R. Tolkien and Dragonlance fan, with some of his songs containing references to these worlds.

Holopainen have been as a producer of the Silentium's album Sufferion - Hamartia of Prudence (2003).

this week's SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA yaaaaay!!!!1 (scandinavian edition)


The Giant Otter, Pteronura brasiliensis, (also known as the river wolf) is the longest of the world's otters, as well as the largest mustelid. It is native to South America but is endangered and is also very rare in captivity. A group of giant otters is called a romp, a bevy, a family, or a raft.

Physical characteristics
The River Wolf can reach up to 6 ft (1.8 m) in length, and weigh up to 76 lb (34 kg). The females are smaller and weigh only 57–60 lb (26–27 kg). It has a lifespan of 12 years in their natural habitat, and 21 years in captivity. Its fur is dense, thick and velvety, and is highly sought after by fur traders. The guard hairs are short, 5/16 in (8 mm) long, twice as long as the under-fur. The fur is water repellent and is a deep chocolate brown in color. A unique white mark is located on the throat that can be used to distinguish between individuals. The head is round and the ears are small. The nose is completely covered in fur, with only the two slit-like nostrils visible. The eyes are large and they have acute vision, an adaptation for hunting underwater. The legs are short and stubby and end in large webbed feet tipped with sharp claws. The River Wolf is well suited for an aquatic life, and can close its ears while underwater. River Wolfs can also close their nostrils when they swim under water. o_O

Feeding ecology
The River Wolf is one of the largest predators of its region, and so can choose from a wide variety of animals to feed on. It feeds mainly on fish, such as catfish, piranha, and perch, but will also feed on crabs, small caimans, and snakes, including small anacondas. It can hunt both in groups and alone, tending to head towards the deeper waters while in groups. It consumes up to 10 lb (4.5 kg) of food each day, using mostly its eyesight to locate its prey. The giant otter has very few natural predators. Caimans and large anacondas prey upon both young and adult otters by ambush. On land jaguars are also a threat to otters when they are in search of more suitable water reserves in the dry season.

Social and reproductive biology
The River Wolf is a highly social animal and lives in extended family groups of between 4-8 members. Group members share roles within the group, structured around the dominant breeding pair. The females have a gestation period of 65-70 days, giving birth to 1-5 young. Mothers give birth in an underground den near the river shore. Otter pups are taught to swim after two months and left to fend for themselves after two to three years. The River Wolf is very sensitive to human activity, and tourists boating too close to a nursing mother can cause her so much stress that she stops producing milk, causing her young to starve. The Giant Otter gives birth annually. The River Wolf is the only species of mustelid that is monogamous.

The Giant Otter is known locally in Guyana as "Lobo del Rio" ("the river wolf") and in Brazil as "Ariranha".

THIS WEEK'S SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!!!!11!


Secretariat was an American Thoroughbred racehorse considered by many to be the greatest racehorse of all time. Secretariat was affectionately nicknamed "Big Red" by his owner because of his size and brilliant chestnut color, or, perhaps, in an attempt to draw comparisons to the great Man O' War.

Sired by Bold Ruler out of the dam Somethingroyal, Secretariat was born at Meadow Farm in Caroline County, Virginia. Owned by Penny Chenery, he was trained by Canadian Lucien Laurin and ridden by fellow Canadian jockey Ron Turcotte. Secretariat won the 1973 Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, and Belmont Stakes, making him the first Triple Crown winner in a quarter of a century.

The story of Secretariat began with the toss of a coin in 1968 between Christopher Chenery of Meadow Stables and Ogden Phipps of Wheatley Stable. The idea of a coin toss came from Phipps, the owner of Bold Ruler, and Bull Hancock of Claiborne Farms as a way to get the very best mares for Bold Ruler, and when the toss went their way, to add well-bred fillies to their own broodmare band. Bold Ruler was considered one of the important stallions of his time. He had a fine balance between speed and stamina. After his racing career, Bold Ruler was retired to Claiborne Farms but still was controlled by the Phipps family. This meant he would be bred to mainly Phipps' mares and not many of his offspring would find their way to the auction ring. Phipps and Hancock agreed to forgo a stud fee for Bold Ruler in exchange for getting to keep one of two foals produced by the mare he bred in successive seasons or two mares he bred in the same season. Who obtained which foal or even received first pick would be decided by a flip of a coin.

In 1968, Chenery sent two mares named Hasty Matelda and Somethingroyal to Bold Ruler, and in 1969, a colt and filly were the result. In 1969, Hasty Matelda was replaced by Cicada, but she did not conceive. Only one foal resulted between Bold Ruler and Somethingroyal. As stated in the original agreement, the winner of the coin toss could pick the foal he wanted but could only take one, while the loser would get the other two. Both parties assumed Somethingroyal would deliver a healthy foal in the spring of 1970. The coin toss between Penny Chenery and Ogden Phipps was set for the fall of 1969 in the office of New York Racing Association Chairman Alfred Vanderbilt II, with Hancock as witness. As Vanderbilt flipped the coin, Phipps called "Tails!" The coin landed tails up. Phipps decided to take the weanling filly out of Somethingroyal, leaving Chenery with the colt out of Hasty Matelda and the unborn foal of Somethingroyal.

On March 30, just ten minutes past midnight, Somethingroyal foaled a bright red chestnut colt with three white socks and a star with a narrow blaze. Almost immediately, the colt was thought to be too pretty, a title that would haunt him early in his racing career and then earn him fame for his beauty as a Triple Crown winner. By the time the colt was a yearling, he still was without a name. Meadow's secretary, Elizabeth Ham, had submitted ten names to the Jockey Club, and all ten were denied for one reason or another. Approval finally came with the eleventh submission, a name Ham herself picked from a previous career association, Secretariat.

The Kentucky Derby

Nicknamed Big Red (as he was a large chestnut horse like Man O' War, and also because if you don't chew Secretariat, fuck you), he won the Kentucky Derby by gradually moving up on the field in the backstretch, then overtaking rival Sham in the middle of the dash for home. Making Secretariat's Derby win more impressive is that Sham's time of 1:59 4/5 equals Monarchos' 2001 Derby time, the second fastest in history.

A lesser-known but perhaps more amazing accomplishment of his took place in that year's Derby. On his way to a still-standing record time in that race (1:59 2/5), he achieved the unheard-of feat of "negative splitting", running each quarter-mile (402 m) segment faster than the one before it. The successive quarter-mile times were: 25 1/5, 24, 23 4/5, 23 2/5 and 23.

The Preakness Stakes

Secretariat did not wait long to make his presence known in the Preakness. In last place as the horses moved past the stands, Big Red made a big leap forward on the first turn. CBS Television sportscaster Chic Anderson:

But HERE comes Secretariat, he's moving fast, and he's going to the outside — he's going for the lead and it's right NOW he's looking for it!

Despite constant left-handed whipping by jockey Laffit Pincay, Jr., Sham could not overtake Secretariat, who won by two and a half lengths. The main controversy of the race was its time. The infield totalisator board flashed a time of 1:55. The track's electronic timer malfunctioned because of damage from the huge crowd crossing the track to reach the infield. The Pimlico clocker, E.T. McLean Jr., who sheepishly admitted years later that he had in fact delayed clicking his stopwatch accurately as he too was transfixed on Secretariat's amazing performance (Source: Secretariat - Raymond G. Woolfe), had informed them that he had clocked a time of 1:54 2/5, while at the same time two Daily Racing Form clockers claimed the time was 1:53 2/5 which would have been faster than the track record (1:54 by Cañonero II). Two tapes of the horses were played side by side and were reclocked and slowly examined and Secretariat got to the finish line first on tape, though this is not a reliable method of timing a horse race. The Maryland Jockey Club, which managed the Pimlico racetrack and is responsible for maintaining Preakness records, discarded both electronic and The DRF time and recognized 1:54 2/5 as the official time. In some programs, both DRF and official time are printed. The official Preakness record book maintains that the time was 1:54 2/5, and Pimlico officials have chosen not to revisit this issue. In the interim, Tank's Prospect (1985), Louis Quatorze (1996), and Curlin (2007) have all run 1:53 2/5, equalling the time attributed to Secretariat by the Racing Form. Farma Way won the 1991 Pimlico Special in 1:52 2/5, setting the current track record. Oddly enough, Secretariat's stablemate Riva Ridge also ran the same distance in 1:52 2/5 in the 1973 Brooklyn Handicap at Aqueduct, sharing the current American dirt record at that distance with Farma Way. The issue of Secretariat's time in the Preakness may never be finally resolved.

The Belmont Stakes

Only four horses joined Secretariat for the June 9, 1973, running of the Belmont Stakes, including Sham, who had finished second in both the Derby and Preakness. With so few horses in the race, and with Secretariat expected to win, no "show" bets were taken. Before a crowd of 67,605, Secretariat and Sham set a blistering early pace, opening a 10-length cushion on the others. But while Sham faded after the halfway mark (ultimately finishing last), Secretariat astonished spectators by picking up the killing pace — eventually straining the television cameras' wide-angle capability as they struggled to keep the distant challengers in the same frame. Turcotte has said in documentaries that he could sense the horse wanted to be let loose, and he did so, letting the horse shift into "high gear" and run his own race.

In one of the best-known of American sports calls, Anderson — later Belmont Park's track announcer — punctuated Secretariat's powerful move on the final turn of the Belmont this way:

...Secretariat is blazing along! The first three-quarters of a mile in 1:09 and four fifths. Secretariat is widening now! He is moving like a TREMENDOUS machine! Secretariat by 12, Secretariat by 14 lengths on the turn! Sham is dropping back. It looks like they'll catch him today, as My Gallant and Twice a Prince are both coming up to him now. But Secretariat is all alone! He's out there almost a 16th of a mile away from the rest of the horses! Secretariat is in a position that seems impossible to catch. He's into the stretch. Secretariat leads this field by 18 lengths, and now Twice a Prince has taken second and My Gallant has moved back to third. They're in the stretch. Secretariat has opened a 22-length lead! He is going to be the Triple Crown winner! Here comes Secretariat to the wire. An unbelievable, an amazing performance! He hits the finish 25 lengths in front!"

In fact, the champion's winning margin was 31 lengths — a distance it took careful examination of videotape and trackside photographs to measure, although veteran Daily Racing Form trackman Jack Wilson accurately recorded it as Secretariat hit the wire. Secretariat's time of 2 minutes and 24 seconds flat has remained the world record on dirt at that distance; no horse has come within 1 2/5 seconds of the time. During Anderson's call of the stretch run, the CBS camera had to pull back to keep both Big Red and his opponents in the frame, and as a result caught a poignant image in TV sports history — the backs of tens of thousands of cheering Belmont Park spectators cheering and applauding as Secretariat neared the wire. Almost as iconic as the still and video images of Secretariat blowing away the competition was the scene of owner Penny Chenery Tweedy waving her arms in exultation (and relief) in the Belmont owners' boxes. Anderson:

An amazing, unbelievable performance by this miracle horse — and look at Mrs. Tweedy! (laughing) She's having the time of her life!

Secretariat's stride at the finish was so powerful that it took jockey Ron Turcotte nearly two furlongs to pull him up. In fact, after Secretariat galloped out for 1/8 mile after the race his time for 1 and 5/8 miles including the cool down is alleged to be 2 minutes 37.6 seconds, which would have broken a world record set by the great Swaps in 1956 by three lengths. At the mile and 3/8 point, Secretariat had run faster than Man O' War's record from when the Belmont was run at that length. Secretariat's winning margin of 31 lengths in the long and grueling Belmont Stakes is remembered as one of the most dramatic events in thoroughbred racing history. Time Magazine, Newsweek, and Sports Illustrated featured Secretariat on their covers on June 11, 1973, the first to be featured on all three magazines' covers in the same week, though no journalists or racing experts had expected the pure and absolute domination that Secretariat exhibited. If the Beyer Speed Figure calculation had been developed during that time, Andrew Beyer calculated that Secretariat would have earned a figure of 139, one of the highest figures he has ever assigned. [1] Bettors holding 5,617 winning on-course Tote tickets never redeemed them.

Secretariat never duplicated his Belmont Stakes performance, but continued to run impressively after the Triple Crown. He shipped to Chicago and won at Arlington Park, won the inaugural Marlboro Cup against a fantastic field that included 1972 Derby and Belmont winner, Secretariat's stablemate Riva Ridge, top California stakes winner Cougar II, Canadian champion Kennedy Road, and Onion, who had upset Secretariat in the Whitney Handicap at Saratoga. Secretariat stopped the clock in 1:45 2/5 for 1 1/8 miles, at the time, a world record on any surface (according to "railbirds" who claimed to have timed Secretariat galloping past the wire at the track, Secretariat galloped out an extra furlong in 1:57 4/5, which would have broken the world record at that time).

He also won his first start on grass in the Man O' War Handicap in a still standing track record time of 2:24 4/5, without being touched by the whip. Secretariat is claimed to have galloped out an extra furlong in 2:37 4/5, which would have equalled the world record at that distance on any surface (Source: Secretariat, Raymond G. Woolfe Jr.).

But Secretariat did not always fire. However, there were arguably extenuating circumstances for each of those defeats. In his final preparation race for the Kentucky Derby, he had lost to an ordinary horse named Angle Light as well as his nemesis Sham. Secretariat's trainer Lucien Lauren withheld knowledge of a bad abscess on his horse's upper lip from owner Tweedy and jockey Turcotte. (Source: Secretariat - The Making Of A Champion, William Nack). Similarly, after the Triple Crown, he lost to two horses trained by "giant killer" Allen Jerkins (who also beat five-time Horse of the Year, Kelso, with Beau Purple)-- Onion and Prove Out. Trainer Lauren oddly allowed Secretariat to run against Onion in the Whitney even though his horse allegedly had a low grade fever, and entered Secretariat to compete against Prove Out in the Woodward, when he allegedly had inadequate training (1 1/8 mile Marlboro Cup) and was originally being pointed toward the 1973 Man O' War Stakes on grass, thus running 1 1/2 miles much earlier than scheduled.

After three more victories and two second-place finishes in 1973, Secretariat won his last race with another impressive performance. With jockey Ron Turcotte out with a five-day suspension, Eddie Maple rode Secretariat to victory in the Canadian International Stakes on grass and against older horses. He won the race by an impressive 6 1/2 lengths, a tremendous accomplishment on grass where large winning margins are much less common than they are in the Belmont Stakes on dirt.

Altogether, Secretariat won 16 of his 21 career races and finished out of the money just once — in his debut as a 2-year-old, when he was jostled coming out of the gate and finished fourth.

THIS WEEK'S SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!!!!!111!


Johnny Blaze, or John Blaze, is a supernatural superhero in the Marvel Comics universe. He is the second Marvel character to use the name Ghost Rider, following the Western hero later known as the Phantom Rider, and preceding Daniel Ketch, the second supernatural Ghost Rider.

Johnny Blaze, a stunt daredevil, was the son of Barton Blaze and Naomi Kale. He spent his early years in the Quentin Carnival where his parents starred in a stunt show with Craig "Crash" Simpson. Blaze's family had ended when his mother abandoned Barton and Johnny and took the family's two children.

Losing his mother caused Blaze to repress many of his memories of her and his siblings. When his father died in a stunt, Blaze was adopted by Crash and Mona Simpson. The Simpsons helped Blaze by fabricating his past with the hope that it would be less painful than the truth. Now believing that his real mother was Clara Blaze, who had died, Blaze became an enthusiastic member of the Simpson clan, growing closer to their daughter, Roxanne. The two soon became inseparable and, as they grew older their fondness for one another moved beyond familiar.

Blaze would eventually join the Simpsons into their own traveling stunt show — the Crash Simpson Stunt Cycle Extravaganza. Crash had become a real father figure in Blaze's eyes, and on learning of Crash's life-threatening cancer, Blaze turned to the occult. His studies led him to a spell which supposedly could summon Satan himself. Johnny was unaware that he in fact had summoned Mephisto. Desperate to save him, Blaze sold his soul to Mephisto in return for Crash's cancer to be cured.

Crash Simpson's cancer was cured, although Crash died soon after in a stunt trying to jump over 22 cars. Blaze, still at the mercy of Mephisto, believed he would lose his soul to Mephisto until he was saved by Roxanne. Roxanne proclaimed her love for Blaze, and drove Mephisto away with the purity of her emotion.

Blaze was unaware that Mephisto had bonded him with the demon Zarathos as an act of revenge for not being able to obtain Johnny's soul for himself. Johnny was transformed into a Ghost Rider, a leather-clad skeleton, his head cloaked in a sheath of flame, the night after Crash's death. Basically, he still had his soul, but he was forced to punish the wicked and evil upon Mephisto's demands whenever needed.

Blaze became a bounty hunter for Mephisto. Whenever he was in the presence of evil he would transform into the Ghost Rider, to exact the devil's revenge, returning the evil to Hell. Blaze was not completely lost in the transformation however, and would also help the innocent when they were in danger.

Eventually, Zarathos would gain control of Johnny Blaze, and the Ghost Rider would become the spirit of Zarathos unleashed. Johnny himself was becoming stronger as well, and the conflicting personalities led to a battle over Blaze's physical body.

Before too long Centurious appeared, stealing Blaze's soul into his soul crystal. Zarathos, weakened from the ordeal used the last of his strength to shatter the crystal, freeing Blaze's soul and many others contained inside of the crystal as well. Before the crystal was reformed, Centurious was absorbed into the crystal. Zarathos followed him into the crystal, freeing Blaze from the curse, restored his soul and ending his time as the Ghost Rider.

He later teamed up with the new Ghost Rider (Daniel Ketch) to form the "Spirits of Vengeance". During this time Blaze would again ride a bike with wheels on fire and would sling a hellfire spitting pump-gun. Their mentor Caretaker would later reveal that they were in fact brothers.

Blaze went back to leading his carnival. Despite it being staffed with many powerful entities, it was nearly destroyed in a demonic attack led by the creature Vengeance. The dead, friend and foe alike, were taken by government forces to be disected. Blaze, with the help of living, and dead, friends, breaks into the facillity and destroys all the bodies.

A later confrontation with the forces of evil would lead to Roxeanne's death. Blaze would later hunt down the demons responsible for her death and kill them all.

Starting over, Blaze eventually found a new job as an accountant and a new girlfriend, Chloe. Though free from the curse and with his soul back, Johnny would eventually transform back into Ghost Rider since Zarathos never really left him and had been reconstituting himself from within Blaze.

Johnny Blaze soon found himself constantly pursued by demons of Hell, intent on forcing him to make good on the demonic pact he had made. It was all that the Ghost Rider could do to out-run the evil, but it wasn't enough. Eventually, Johnny was captured and taken to Hell. ;_;

THIS WEEK'S SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!!!!11!


Dan Perry
Communications Specialist


Date of Birth: October 15, 1958
Place of Birth: Savannah GA
Residence: Bradford VT
Marital Status: Married
Wife: Anita
Children: Angela, Julie, Valerie, Daniel IV
Hobbies: Racing, golf, radio communications
Years Racing: 16
Years in Busch East: 14
Favorite Little Tree® air freshener: Vanillaroma®

Working for several years as Mike Olsen’s spotter, Dan Perry is the expert in updating and maintaining the team’s radio communications equipment.

Even though he’s a busy father of four, a volunteer fireman, a town water commissioner and the owner of three laundromats, Perry rarely misses a race. :D

THIS WEEK'S SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!!!!1