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What The Hell Kind of Southern Family Reunion Was That?

The day before the spawn and I left for our end of the summer hoorah family vacation, we spent the day at Wakulla Springs attending a family reunion. As I mentioned before, many of these family members traveled from AlaBAMa, Mississippi, South Carolina, and Georgia. I was so excited about the photo opportunities and stories this gathering would provide that I peed my pants just thinking about it a couple of days before the event.

It was not what I was expecting.

No missing teeth, protruding ears, lopsided eyes, or clubbed feet. Oh no indeed. Instead, we had three carat diamond rings living in four thousand square foot homes. We had Cadillac and BMW’s; Prada and Coach, Manolo Blahnik and Via Spiga. Where were the overalls and suspenders, the lower lip full of dip, and the inbred children of Uncle Cletus and Aunt Pearl? People, this was NOT the South we see in the MGM featured horror movie of the week. This was not Wrong Turn or its sequel. This was a party for a group of Southern Antebellum women minus the hooped skirts and parasols. My nephew is currently ranked thirteenth in the nation for pre-calculus so I didn’t even get a taste of slow-wittedness from cousin Earl.

I was so disappointed.

All I got was this; a picture of a picture of a man and wife no one knew or remembered. But what a great picture, huh?
Where WERE you guys?!?!?!?
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On a side note, I took a bunch of pictures of the Springs. It’s a beautiful place of raw beauty bursting with wildlife. I’ll be posting some of the pictures on my photo blog but thought you guys would get a kick outta this.

This is a picture from the pier within the swimming area (note the floating cone in the lower right-hand corner.) But wait! What do mine eyes behold?

Let’s focus in a bit closer, shall we?
You got it, that’s an eight foot alligator gliding through the waters just beyond the swimming hole.

Reason #2 why I don’t go swimming in Wakulla Springs.

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